And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
