why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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