Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
