Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
