I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
