Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
