Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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