If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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