Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
