yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
