dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
that may or may not have been my penis.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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