do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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