His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize