I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
