I want to make a zoo with you.
kristin has been a bad kristin
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
