Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
