Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
