Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize