yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
