I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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