they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
