i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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