I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
