We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
