And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
