3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
