maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You were trust falling into bushes
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
