i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
