Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
