it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
