Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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