Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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