i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
