Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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