I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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