was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
