She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
