Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
