i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
