I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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