I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
