**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I need help removing her.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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