i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
