Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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