we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
