Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
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Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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