HIV tests are more positive than that guy
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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