his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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