I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
my poor anus
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
