if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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