i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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