so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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