Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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