Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
