This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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