Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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